Well, the hipsters are at it again. They are out proving once again that they are more original than you, they are more creative, they are quirkier and, most importantly, they did it before you did. What indeed, would modern-day culture be without the work of the hipsters who are always on the forefront of everything cool that ever happens in the world? How would we even know what is hip in this totally drab, unoriginal world if we didn’t see a guy with a handlebar mustache and suspenders on a penny farthing doing it first?
The original hipster.
(image credit: qtpi1969.net)
This new hipster trend, to which my sister alerted me, is called “silent meals.” Silent meals apparently started in the cultural hotbed we call Brooklyn, NY. If you have not been there, it is because you are not cool enough. The restaurant, creatively named Eat, nestled in the quaint neighborhood of Greenpoint (the most expensive area to live in Brooklyn), not only serves up a $12 bowl of porridge, but you can eat that porridge while checking out their selection of “pottery, furniture and ceramics.” This sounds like the exact kind of operation where I would imagine a silent meal taking place.
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The guests begin their meal with a vow of silence. Here is the part where I would burst into hysterics and be shunned by everyone attending. They are then served a four-course “organic locavore*” (*not a real word) meal for $40 all while either staring awkwardly at their dinner company or pantomiming wildly (at the risk of spilling their beet juice). So, what do I do if my carrots are overcooked? Can I tell my waiter via text or do I have to learn the pantomime gesture for “overcooked?”
image credit: mediavilla.ch
I don’t know what dining out with friends is to you but I typically consider this to be a social event. I hold my tongue all day around the jerks who boss me around; what’s dinner out if you can’t vent about your day? But I guess the hipsters have made talking uncool. So what’s next, breathing?
According to the man responsible for this death of fun (Eat’s managing chef and events planner) the idea came to him from meals he enjoyed in silence at an Indian monastery. He claims in this article, “We wanted to bring attention to the physical and visceral properties of eating.” The idea is obviously spiritual in its roots. It is called monastic silence and is often observed by monks who have taken a vow of silence. And really, what could be more spiritual than spending $40 to eat at a trendy restaurant in uptown Brooklyn and then grabbing the ol’ yoga mat and heading down to the studio where you’ll chant Sanskrit you don’t even know the meaning of?
The best part of silent meals is what happens when you talk. If you so much as make a peep (I believe this includes sipping your kale soup too loudly), your plate is taken outside and set on a bench where “loudmouths can finish their meals.” I imagine if I made it through the vow of silence, by the end of course one I would be eating at the punishment bench. At least I could talk to the passersby at this point, maybe steal a nip of whiskey from a bum.
I have to wonder when trends like this start, are these people really taking themselves this seriously? If you are allowing your guests to mime to each other in order to communicate, does this not completely negate the idea behind this silent meal? Are you simply imitating something you find cool without even believing in it yourself? Is this a sort of death of culture? Hipsters are very good at taking culturally significant symbols of the past, co-opting them and turning them into empty vessels of meaninglessness in the name of fashion. Is this where we want culture to go?
On that note, a word of warning: be wary when the mustachioed man on a penny farthing with an “I love Brooklyn” t-shirt comes rolling into town. The next thing you know you may be eating a cold bowl of porridge on the punishment bench outside because you tried to use words to talk to your waiter.
image credit: tngunowners.com
Cultural Curiosities 