A friend of mine recently shared an article with all of his cyber friends on Facebook (a site that generally is there to disrupt your life and make you feel horrible about the three hours you just spent watching cat videos or wittily responding to that one super conservative guy’s post about “Obamacare”). But occasionally it is worthwhile when your smart friends post things like this. And with a title like 16 People On Things They Couldn’t Believe About America Until They Moved Here, I thought, what an excellent opportunity to find ridiculous fodder for that silly blog I’m writing.
While I laughed hardily at foreigners’ reactions to things like our obsession with running, our penchant for gigantic cars, and the popularity of going to class in pajamas (take note, freshmen ladies), the thing that really resonated with me was “wall-to-wall carpeting.”
Just one of the many disgusting things that can happen in a carpeted situation.
Carpeting your home is a foul practice and one that should have gone out of style with shag carpet (there’s a reason they call it that, you know). What happens on the carpet, stays on the carpet until your broke ass can afford a steam clean. Everyone is aware of the superiority of hardwood floors; even linoleum would get more likes on Facebook than carpet!
Just look at how happy and clean these people look, enjoying those shiny hardwood floors.
So really, I had to wonder, who was the jerk who decided carpeting in the bathroom was a good idea? Or who thought little girls would love to see wolf spiders disappear into those impossibly tall strands of shag carpet? So naturally, I did a little research and was incredibly pleased to find there is an actual all-things-carpet website. This website’s sole purpose is to bring you the facts you need to know about carpet and rugs; I’m talking history, careers, even frequently asked questions!
Man, I cannot wait to start my career in the carpet industry! Just look at how fulfilled this guy is!
But more importantly, I learned from this amazing fact-filled website that carpet weavings were excavated and dated to be from the second to third century BC in the Middle East! Apparently they were originally woven for special ceremonies and later used by nomads to shield them from the hard cold things they often slept upon. Eventually, that one jerk was like “Let’s carpet all the things!” (probably before people had any decent understanding of epidemiology) and so there I sat in 1995, cutting red nail polish out of our shag carpet with dull scissors cursing the nomadic tribes of the Middle East.
Cultural Curiosities 